I wish I am taking time out from blogging! But somehow my birthday resolution kinda sticks like super-glue and doesn't let go. I've not been very faithful to my resolution of a daily entry, but I do try my best. Perhaps I've come to realise that I don't really like to stick to my computer all the time, and I do realise that I will never match up to those people who blog like 3-4 times per day and clock up to 100-over blog entries per month.
Heck, it's a new month. Time for a new resolution?
My new resolution this time is not to stick to CYBER-space or Virtual-space everyday and learn to breathe and appreciate life as it is, in the physical, heavy, 3D space. Been resisting the temptation to join Twitter too. I can't imagine being reliant on mobiles or internet all the time to tweet my mood or thoughts to the whole world. It's an addiction that arises from the need to be heard and needed. But I do appreciate the ability to write my thoughts down and stretching my writing muscles a bit, just a bit everytime I blog here.
Life in Norway is a lot to do with appreciation of nature and the *S*N*O*W* of course! It's been snowing these few days and the feeling of waking up and walking into the falling snow is indescribable. Better than sushi or blogging I guess :P And of course, now that I'm still in between jobs, I've been taking the opportunity to slow down and meditate more. Being aware of my breath is not such a difficult thing, but being thought-less is still a challenge.
I've come to realise that in meditation, it is not that hard to enjoy what you are feeling despite thoughts leading you astray. I do catch myself every now and then for a stray thought as I sit there quietly feeling my breath, my heartbeat and listening to this wonderful "TIbetian singing bowl" sound that has been very loud at my most silent.
Never thought that I might hear sounds that are not there but... I do.
Maybe I'm going deaf :) Hallucinations???
The type of meditation I do is called Knowledge, and I have a teacher called Maharaji who doesn't like to call it meditation but "practicing". Well, it means practicing every day to sit down, know yourself and to feel the inner peace in you. For me it has done a lot more than that and I cannot express how grateful I am to Maharaji for making me understand what true love and joy is.
To my greatest surprise, I am stronger and more patient than I thought I will ever be. Nowadays I can sit in stillness for one hour, two hours or more when previously sitting for 5 min is enough to make me squirm (and cheat by opening my eyes every 30 secs....has the clock gone faster yet??)
Ahhh.... the joy of just hearing my breath going in and out is wonderful. Suddenly you realise life is good because you exist in this amazing physical body. God (or someone) has given this body to you and it's such a miracle that I'm a piece of dirt who can type, walk, drink and eat. Eventually this piece of dirt will return to dirt, and then an amazing life has lived. Has been happy, sad, crying, laughing, singing, dancing, talking, gossiping, inspiring, fighting and all those stuff that we humans do. And what's the result? We learn. From a lifetime of tears and laughter, we learn the lessons we came to learn and it will all contribute to a very good place indeed (which I'd like to think is Heaven :)
And perhaps...all I want to say in this ramble is that *life is like super-glue*. It really is! Life's qualities attract me very much, and I'm addicted to it. Money? Nah. Porsche? Nah. Chocolates? Pales in comparison. Life? Yes!
Thank you God, for letting me have the good fortune of knowing someone like Maharaji, and having the chance to appreciate my life this way.